Okay, so before I have seemed really depressed and stuff. Which I really was. No one, I feel, can really know what they are thinking or actually feeling. The human mind is such a complicated thing. We feel like we know what we are feeling is for sure, but in all actuality, we have no freaking idea what we want. That is one of the most scariest things, I feel, about being human. I was so sure I had used this person, subconsciously, but I actually feel like it was something else entirely. I have been watching How I Met Your Mother (side note: it is a great freaking show) and there is this concept they use, Pulling a Ted Mosby. In the beginning episodes of this show the main character Ted Mosby meets this girl named Robin. They have one great date and he is so sure that he loves her that he tells her. This obviously scares her off. Now Robin really liked Ted, but after he said that, she stopped having any feelings for him. That is what I feel happened to me. I feel I actually liked this guy, and then he dropped the "L" word and I started thinking. I thought so much I became "in love" with my best friend again. I have gotten closure from all of that though, also I am hoping to become friends with this one guy, because he is a nice guy, but not what I'm looking for right now.
I know I feel like for a couple minutes I feel like I have everything worked out. I want to volunteer abroad after I graduate high school, but before college and stuff. I just feel like it is my calling.I have always wanted to travel, and now I have a purpose to travel. But it is so hard finding an organization because a lot of them are like gospel stuff. Not saying I'm not a Christian, but I don't want to be a part of a mission like that. I know that spreading God's word is something I'm supposed to do, but, honestly, I love you God(and Jesus) but I have no idea how to preach the gospel. I haven't even read the Bible one time through.
Though another thing, why do boys have to be so confusing.. And I'm really bad at this blogging thing
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